Planting a garden of friends

Dear Sister;

I was lying in bed watching TV and thinking about the ache in my heart and about you.

I thought about an analogy:

If I bought seed and potting soil and worked very hard to make a little flower garden, and the effort gave me great joy as well as expectations, and as I watched and watered the flower plants through the summer and into blooming, cut and enjoyed many of the flowers and the sight and smell, and all the joy I got from the flowers filled my days with loveliness and beauty, then in the fall the frost came and burned my flowering plants while they were still in bloom, and cut them to the ground in dry withering piles, I would not say, "I wish I hadn't ever planted them, and I shall never plant again,, but I would remember the joy and the beauty, and hope that I would once again have the chance to enjoy the experience, even with full knowledge that the plants might be taken before me, and that I might have to live on without them in my life, but only the memories.

If I didn’t keep on looking for love, and cultivating friendships at all costs and in spite of the knowledge I have that most men, and even women that I associate with will not be with me throughout my life, and that many will hurt me, and cast me aside before I give up on them, then I would be giving up all the joy and beauty and happiness I get from the relationships while they do last. And I would far rather suffer the pain of loss, than the pain of not ever having a friend.

So that's my little parable for you and for me. I'm going back to bed and wallow in my heart ache, but I hope you will go forth and risk losing, in order to gain what life has for you, even though most the time it is a temporary. I know my heart ache is temporary, and that soon the lump will go away and the tears will not be so near the surface. Time will help that. And with time, I will have the courage to begin another little flower garden to enjoy, nurturing, and perhaps one day I will be allowed to keep it for all eternity.

I love you.
Lynda